so i’ve been really challenged over the past couple of weeks on a number of things. and i don’t really know what God’s doing with my life right now, i just know that i’m excited about it, but pretty stressed at the same time. the first of these challenges is the challenge to find a new church here where i live. i’ve grown really complacent in the church i’ve been going to for the past two years and have been sporadically attending the last couple of months. this has been immensely frustrating for me. it’s almost like i don’t want to go to church at all. which is dangerous ground for me to walk on. and i’ve been really praying about it a lot lately and just kept getting more and more frustrated. so i made a decision to visit another church, and i think it’s the best decision regarding my faith that i’ve been led to make in a long time. i finally started to understand what the problem was, and why i had become the way i had become. i’ve been going to this church pretty much since i became a Christian, and it’s purpose in my life was no longer being served. i finally realized that i was no longer being fed, or at least fed enough to satisfy what my faith needed. i’ve matured in my faith so that i can do no more at this church. and to me that’s a really sad thing to come to realize. i don’t think churches should be like pediatricians, where you grow out of them at a certain age and have to find a new one. churches should be able to relate and feed people of all ages, and be able to adjust to their needs as new believers become more grounded and mature in their beliefs. church should be family. and that’s not what this church is. and i see that now. so i’ve started (meaning i’ve been there once) going to a new church to see if i can be satisfied there, and so far so good. so we’ll see what comes of this, but thank God for getting me out of the rut i was in. i was beginning to have a lot of doubts, but was graciously rescued from those.

a second thing that i’ve been really challenged about lately is what i’m doing with my walk. i’m currently reading a book entitled Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper. it’s basically an exposition of the OneDay 2000 talk he gave, if any of you have heard that. anyways, in this book he defines what he belives to be a waste of a life and what he believes is the greatest tragedy that exists today. now when you think of tragedy, his view is not the view that you will automatically draw up from your imagination. it’s not about planes, and bombs, and guns. to him, the greatest tragedy is, fittingly, wasting your life. that is to say, not doing all you can for the sake of the Gospel. he gives an example of a couple that retires in Florida and spends the rest of their days collecting seashells, playing softball, and cruising the waters in their boat. he then gives an example of a pair of women in their eighties who retired to Africa to help with humanitarian things over there and to help spread the Gospel of Christ to the unreached peoples. the first couple dies peacefully in their sleep, and the latter pair end up being killed in a car accident, and Piper asks which is a tragedy. well as you may be able to guess, he lists the first couple as living a tragic life, and the latter pair as living a glorious life. this made me really start thinking about what i’m doing with my own life. am i doing enough with it to not stand in front of God with only a shell collection to show for my life? granted, i’m only 22 years old and DO plan on making a career in ministry. but what if that day never comes? what if God calls me home tomorrow? or in five minutes? will God be able to say “well done, good and faithful servant” to me with a straight face? i hope that He will. and i pray that He will. but still i can’t help but wonder about all the “what ifs”. and i feel like i should make some claim to “from this day forward, always strive to ‘not waste my life’” or something like that, but i think that’s really silly. and i know i’ll never live up to that promise or claim because, afterall, i’m human. so all this to say that i’ve just been challenged by this recently. i have no profound answer to the questions i’ve come up with, i don’t have the key to “not wasting your life” or anything like that. it’s just something that’s been resonating in my brain for the duration that i’ve been reading this book. all i do know is that i don’t want my life to be a tragedy. and, God willing, i am going to do whatever possible to make sure that that doesn’t happen. until then………